The Call from a Rival High School that Changed My Life
5.22.24
⏳ THE LINE-UP
What’s on the lineup card (agenda)?
This week is my COACH origin story. I’m talking about why I love this work, when the lightbulb went off and what you can do to determine why you’re a good coach.
But before we begin, can you open this questionnaire and fill it out after this? It’ll take 5 minutes. If you do, I’ve got a freebie that’ll land in your inbox. Thanks.
☕️ THE WARM UP
Let’s break it down with a basic definition of what a coach is…
1️⃣: an athletic instructor or trainer. Ok, that’s not it. Let’s try again..
2️⃣: a tutor who gives private or specialized teaching. Ok, better. One more time…
3️⃣ prompt or urge (someone) with instructions. Eh, let’s combine all three.
So can everyone be a coach? Well, yeah. Technically. Who am I to tell someone they aren’t a coach if they believe they are AND actually coaching someone.
Does that mean everyone’s a good coach? No.
If you cook everyday, are you not a cook? What if your food isn't good? Well, then you might not be a good cook. Right?
Let’s think about this differently and remove the label. Instead, think about the impact of those you are coaching (mentoring, teaching, urging) and ask yourself, are you a good coach?
What makes you different from the other million coaches out there?
This is not just for the consultants and entrepreneurs out there. I’m talking about the coaches we don’t give credit to. The grandparents. Crossing guards. The one guy at the coffee shop who’s always dropping gems. The aunt who’s been through it all.
Oh and YOU. The leader, manager, executive, collegiate and professional coach leading men and women in sport. How do you KNOW you are a good coach?
Some may say the answer to this question is subjective. I do offer a series of questions to consider at the end of the newsletter. Whatever the answer is, these are non-negotiable.
Serve. Listen. Challenge. Iterate. Learn.
Let the label define itself.
🚦 PREGAME
But while we are here…
Who actually holds the definition of what “good” is?
Is it the certification you have? Degree? Is it the MBA? The PHD?
Does that make you a “good” coach if you have all of them? What about a good executive? Does your alma mater make you the right person to lead, manage or coach someone who has no idea who your alma mater is.
Let me be clear in saying that I am NOT dismissing formal education, certs or any of the hard work and diligence that goes into the practice. That’s one way to do it. And I respect it. Wholeheartedly.
* When we are talking about clinical psychologists, medicine, law and other nuanced coaching professions where the knowledge only comes from the books or rigorous testing, that’s different. You can’t get around that. I mean you can, but that’s another story.
Back my take on the coach #cred. I respect all the flavors. Executive Coach. Performance Coach. Mental Performance Coach. Life Coach.
I respect the coaches in my life that gave a shit. The coaches that barely consider themselves a coach. Some people never even knew they were coaching me.
Want to hear about the best coaching session that changed my life?
🏮Spoiler alert - It was an interview. Not a coaching session at all.
At the moment, that was exactly what I needed from a “coach.” Whether he knew it was a coaching moment or not, I’m forever grateful to that man.
▶ I was heard.
▶I was validated.
▶I had my thought process challenged.
▶ I was URGED to make a decision - or in my case, reconsider.
So thank you #coach, who was just an employee in the Colorado Rockies front office. But, now what…
Shortly after, I got a phone call to coach at my rival high-school - Bishop O'dowd in Oakland, CA. As hard as it was thinking about putting on the jersey, I said yes. That experience on the field reminded me of what I was missing at a dark time. I was missing the throws of being a coach.
I wanted immediate impact. I wanted growth. I wanted to serve. I wanted to connect.
I wanted to coach.
This is the only picture I have from the start of what would change my life.
Thanks for the call Coach K.
⌚️ GAMETIME
Trying to figure out what makes you a good coach?
Start by thinking about yourself. Odd, I know. What makes a good coach for YOU!?
Check out these questions and jot down what resonates for you.
Great, now you know that everyone, including YOU, operates, learns, and needs to be coached differently. Let’s close out this Coaching Edition.
🏁 THE CLOSE
Commit to asking people these questions via email. I’m thankful to forward them along from a dear friend/coach of mine. Don’t make it weird. Just ask them. Text them. Email them. Make them make sense for YOUR relationship. Deal?
What were your days like before we started working together?
What were the wins (small or big) that made the biggest difference?
What do you notice about my approach/style that worked for you during this season?
Where is there room for improvement and growth?
If there was one word or phrase you'd describe my services as, to a friend or colleague, what would it be?
Listen to learn, not to lead. Leading will happen from learning.
Read [INSERT COACHING BOOK] that tells you exactly how to be a coach and remember everyone needs something that is different. That is the art. It’s not in a book. That was a joke. It’s in the work, coach.
⏩ ON DECK
We are taking a week off on the written format and dropping a video or two in preparation for my group coaching launch in June. Want in? Early Bird gets the worm.
